Criminal jokes

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Why was the robber bionic?
He was holding up a bank.

Rating: 2.0 |

"Dad," said Fred to his father, who was a bank robber. "I need $50 for the school trip tomorrow."
"OK, son," said his dad, "I'll get you the cash when the bank closes."

Rating: 2.4 |

A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank, pointed two fingers at the clerk and said, "This is a muck up!"
"Don't you mean a stick up?" asked the girl.
"No," said the robber, "it's a muckup. I've forgotten my gun."

Rating: 2.8 |

A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. "There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morning."
"Who shall I call," her husband asked, "police or ambulance?"

Rating: 1.8 |

Fred: We had a burglary last night, and they took everything except the soap and towels.
Harry: The dirty crooks.

Rating: 3.2 |

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